Temporary Soapbox

I've taken it upon myself to research the candidates and their platforms for the upcoming election. I always mean to do that, and am always frustrated when watching the news and feeling lost, but the noise of life interferes, and there is seemingly always something more pressing, or frankly more fun to do. I'm truly torn so far, however. I noticed today that Edwards is dropping out, and it made me think about being in the voting booth that day-what names would be on the ticket? Obama/Edwards? I could certainly get behind that one. Clinton/Edwards? Definitely better than McCain/Romney, etc! But how do they differ? In a rough list of issues, they seem pretty well matched, except of course that Hillary tends to be more active about women and children's rights and development. Obama seems to be more on the fence about issues, but that's not entirely bad, and perhaps more realistic in a bipartisan leader. Maybe that's just the part of my brain speaking that doesn't want to vote for someone based on promise of action, and be disappointed when she ultimately and inevitably gets distracted. I found this quote by Hillary, though and I think it really sums up the national apathy in my generation; "The economy creates consumers but cannot create citizens". For my generation, the top priority is acquisition, not action. One needs only to watch television for a moment to realize that we are a nation of consumers, not citizens. What if Bush had been president in 1939? Would he have let Hitler continue with his crusade unless he threatened our Bavarian Hops supply? I don't presume to have an answer to the widespread apathy in my generation, and I'm not innocent of staying in a bubble so as to not have to think about the depressing state of affairs, but I do see a need for one, and I really think I, and a lot of other people around my age, would be more than willing to work toward that change. I think we just can't picture national pride without blind faith-no propaganda, just a real reason to take pride in and support the nation that lets us be who we are, even if that is a generation of epicures.

Hey! It's Me!

This is the inside joke-fuel (see below). This went around our group at K & M and you could tell when people were reading it because you could hear them gasp and laugh from your cubicle. It's like a great sketch-comedy bit, I hope the guy that wrote it ( it was a random personals ad in Craigslist) is on to big things. Hey...maybe it was Kyle Dunnigan or Nick Swardson?! Or my next favorite comedian, whichever.

Knock knock

Oh hi, how's it going? It's me! Every girl ever. I'm really looking forward to this date. I'm not nearly as attractive as you remember me being because when we met the bar was dark and you were drunk. Come on in.

Let's start off with the unavoidable tour of my incredibly typical post-college-girl apartment.

You'll notice that I went ahead and purchased everything that Ikea and Pier 1 have ever produced. There's my decorative birdcage over there even though I don't have a bird, and there's my ridiculous wicker basket with bamboo poles in it. I don't know what the hell that thing's all about, but I bought it.

Hey check it out, I have more candles in here than a Roman Catholic Church. Doesn't it smell like Hazelnut!? If I were to light all of my candles at once you could see my apartment from space! I fucking love candles!

Come on into the living room.

Oh, I see you met my cat there. That's "Freddy Paws Jr." Why don't you pet him and act like you like cats even though you hate cats? There you go. Oh, he took a little swing at your eye there huh? Yeah, he'll do that. Hey, let's check out the kitchen.

Hey look at my refrigerator. There are pictures all over it! Look at all these pictures of me and my equally vacuous friends from college! We were so crazy! You can tell we're really good friends because our faces are all pressed up against each other like that.

And check it out, we're holding up alcoholic beverages to the camera in every single picture. That's to prove that we were partying. College was so fun! But of course I don't talk to any of these girls anymore because now they're all bitches.

Let's go back into the hallway!

Hey, before we leave I'm going to go in the bathroom for ten minutes for some mysterious reason. Why don't you sit awkwardly in my big, stupid, round papasan chair over there while you wait for me. It's like you're sitting in a hug! Be right back...

Sorry that took a half an hour, I don't know what the hell I was doing in there. Let's go!

Wow! Thanks for opening my car door for me! I'm totally going to blow that meaningless gesture out of proportion and delude myself into thinking that you're a really good guy because that's what I want to believe.

Well, here we are at the restaurant. No thanks waiter, I don't need to see a menu, just bring me some expensive things. Hey I know, while we wait, I'll tell you all about my unspeakably boring job. I hate my boss. He's a jerk! I might get another job. Maybe something in pharmaceutical sales.

Now let's talk about my family. I love my family. I want you to love my family. I want my family to love you. I want you to make love to my family! I want you to go golfing with my semi-retarded brother Travis. That would be so God damned cute!

Wow! I can't believe I ordered all this food! I have no intention of eating any of it. No thanks waiter, we don't need a box. Just throw it out.

Hey, I've got an idea, let's go to a bar and have an after dinner drink! It'll be great, it will be just like how we're drinking here, only it will be louder and we'll have to stand up. Come on!

See, isn't this better? Oh hey, what a coincidence. Look over there! It's a group of my friends that I knew was going to be here. Let's go over there so that they can judge you!

Hey, I have to go to the bathroom for a half an hour again for some reason. You can stay here and talk to my unbelievably hideous friend Christine! Christine's so ugly she scares kids! Talk to her! She has a job and a family that she wants to talk to you about too. Be right back.

I'm back! Sorry I was gone for three hours, there was a line. I want to go home now.

Well here we are at my door again. This was really fun for me and not you. You should pretend like we're going to do it again sometime! Maybe I'll see you at Target a few months from now and we can avoid eye contact because you never called me. Here, have this awkward goodnight kiss that's as empty as my soul. Good night!

My Team

This is my now former team at K & M. If you were ever wondering who these people were that I was locked in a large, stuffy room with for longer than I want to think about; here they are. They are from left: Brett, Shannon (dark, party hair), Janna, myself, Leah, Michelle, Montrice and Kala. Matt and Julie aren't in this picture, I guess they had better things to do than hang out with co-workers while not getting paid. Weird. They were a good group-amazingly functional, actually. The drama was kept to a minimum, at least with these members of the team. Some people just can't get enough, it seems. See the beer in Leah's hand? That shows we were PARTYING! (A bit of an inside joke, more later).

Co-Favorite Comedian...

This is Kyle Dunnigan. He was on "Reno: 911",playing one of my favorite characters (besides Terry, of course), Craig, the S & M-fun-loving Serial Killer (like Jeffrey Daumer, only funny, and with a speech impediment). The video above is Kyle Dunnigan, the genius behind Craig, doing pretty much the cutest bit I've ever seen. I figured out his name by watching a Comedy Central special he did, and he's on my list to see live with Nick Swardson (AKA Terry). Having seen him on Reno, it would never have occurred to me that he's just a normal guy. I was sort of hoping Craig was real. Not the serial-killer part, of course.

Time flies...

Esther's come and gone already. We spent the beautiful day yesterday walking around a big, fancy outdoor mall looking at pretty things we didn't feel like paying for. I did, however, score an insane bargain for a pair of classy work shoes. Esther's as green as the shoes because they didn't fit her. After a yummy dinner of shared entrees at CPK, we came back to my place and relaxed until it was time to walk all the way (2 blocks) to the indie movie theater to see Juno. So cute. Very funny, and no, no 16 year old in the world is that bright, witty and quick. I laughed, I cried, I still don't want a baby. Our choices were that, 27 dresses, or P.S. I love you. I didn't have much of an opinion, although I knew I would like Juno, but the proximity of the theater sold us. I'm getting so spoiled-if I can't walk there, I seriously think twice about what I need there. I should just get a little red wagon and hook it to my bike. Groceries? No problem. Laundry? Toss it in the back and we're off!
This morning we dragged ourselves out of bed and went for a nice long walk in the city. After, we had brunch with her lovely in-laws and stuffed ourselves silly on classic breakfast grub. Good weekend, but then we all know a weekend involving new shoes for me can't go wrong.
I know you don't need to know this, but I wore shorts and a light sweater to walk up to the shops to get my new ethernet cable (I troubleshooted [-shot?] by myself and narrowed it down to the cable-and I was right!), and I broke a sweat. Almost took the sweater off. Oh, and I had to have the A/C on in the car yesterday because the sun was beating down. Sorry-too much?

Beautiful Weekend

It's supposed to be 70 degrees today, and I'm supposed to believe it's January?! Yesterday and the day before were miserable, cold and dreary, light rain and wind, but not like any January I've experienced (except Sydney, summer). March, maybe. But I guess I have to get used to this, and I don't think I'll have much trouble with it. When I was sedentary, years ago, the cold never bothered me, in fact I liked being able to wear thick, snuggly clothes and have an excuse to stay in and get cozy. But now that I'm active, it really puts a damper on my life to not be able to walk to where I want to go, or run without freezing my nose off. And bike riding? Forget it. I hope to be one of those intrepid road riders that is out there in all their expensive cold-weather gear someday, but for now I don't have the funds and I don't have the motivation.
My first apartment visitor is coming today! Esther is driving down from Ft. Worth and we get to have a girl's weekend. I'm looking through my tourist-y book for things to do, but somehow I think we'll find a way to fill up the weekend nicely.
I figured out one really cool thing about living in an area that's multicultural and strongly bilingual-Fox Soccer Channel comes with basic cable!!! GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoal!

Good Day

I got a new phone today (and a new number-if I didn't get to you, email me and I'll send it on!), it's a little slider phone that I've had my eye on for a while. I get to pick 3 more people that I can talk to for free, so I'll take votes starting now and review the nominees thoroughly.
I also got a call from a head hunter after uploading my resume to Monster, and had a short interview with him today. He had two jobs in mind for me, one reception/executive assistant position, and another one which I would rather, which I'd be doing all the grunt work for paralegals and attorneys, and would be getting groomed for a legal assistant promotion in-house. It paid much better, and I wouldn't be answering phones--a big plus. In the interview he let me know that he wouldn't be forwarding my resume to the first, admin one, because he sees that I'm "much too polished" to be answering phones. While I want to spread a wide net and have a steady income relatively soon (I'm getting restless already), I appreciate that others think I'm past the dead-end job stage of life.

Anticip......................ation

I just found out the new Star Trek movie is in production. It sounds like it picks up where the last movie with Kirk left off. I don't know much of the chronology of how each series fits in with the other and how the movies fit in, but I loved Star Trek: Enterprise with Scott Bakula as Captain Jonathan Archer. It was about the time before Kirk and Spock. At one point they travelled into their future and donned the silly uniforms of the Old School Star Trek, it was pretty funny. They looked around Kirk's Enterprise and oohed and ahhed about the advanced technology, even though the effects and set on the newer series was way cooler. It had more to do with the human and human-alien interaction on an interpersonal level, and within the ship, and not as much to do with the actual exploration and cheesy effects of the other shows. In watching the last episode of Enterprise, when two characters dealt with the death of their child, I actually got choked up! I didn't want that series to end,it was my Cheers, I guess. As Bryan will tell you, I didn't give much of a crap for the other ones. I did have a dream once, though, that I was on a date with Jean-Luc Piccard. We went to K-Mart. Sexy, no?

First Steps

I went for my first walk around my new city today. Mom and I had gotten out a little bit, but mostly for quick food trips down the block, and the weather was not conducive to leisurely strolls while she was here. Today was gorgeous and just a little nippy- about 40 degrees by the time I got home, so I decided to get lost. It didn't work, this place is so easy to navigate that I pretty much knew my way around by halfway through my second recon trip a year ago. One of my favorite parts about this city is that there's a nature trail on the banks of Shoal creek, which goes pretty much right through downtown. It turns out that my apartment is just off of the trail and it leads all the way to Town Lake, the center of recreation and sports in the center of the city. I can't wait to try everything there-kayaks, paddle boats, running, biking, soccer fields at Zilker park. This is a very active town.

#207A

After a year of planning, dreaming, doubting, saving and pep talks, I'm here and I love it. I miss people at home, but this feels perfect. Mom stayed with me all week, trudging all over town for supplies, groceries and furniture, bravely downing a year's worth of Aleve after schlepping half of my crap and a bunch of new (and of course heavy) things up to my third floor home. The moment I walked in I knew everything would be OK. I'm glad I stressed and organized and obsessed about money and logistics, but that dissolved when I walked in and saw how my little shabby apartment that I'd spent five minutes in before signing up was transformed into this sparkling, perfectly suited home for me and the furry ones. I was worried about the noise because I'm about a five minute walk from UT, but besides comings and goings of neighbors, I haven't heard anything. I have yet to hear voices, showers, anything. Ahhh.
Thursday, while we were busily unpacking and cleaning, Mom decided to take a break to search for an old friend on the internet. It turned out that she was right that she had moved to the Austin area, and she was the first result to come up on the search page. She called and started to explain who she was, but quickly found that explanations were unnecessary. She knew who she was right away, and we got together with she and her husband that night at their 'farm'(more like a petting zoo), and had dinner at their house, catching up on years of family news and gossip. Friday we got to do some fun things, including visiting my new running store, RunTex. Besides those breaks and a few nice lunches and dinners out (most of which were within spitting distance of my house) I was a slave driver. I was so excited to see my house unpacked, and I hate clutter and chaos. Mom dutifully obliged, though. I'm a lucky girl. I had to take her to the airport this morning, and it was so strange to drop her at the curbside check-in and come back here alone. It solidified the fact that this hasn't been a vacation, but is the beginning of a new chapter. I suppose this is a honeymoon phase, but I can't foresee what I'll get annoyed with here yet. Well, maybe traffic. I'm seeing what happens when a city grows faster than it can plan for. There are only two major highways, both running north/south, and everyone wants to go where I do, it seems. I'll just do my very best to get a job I can ride or walk to. Besides that, I think this might have been the best decision I've made, so far.

I'm here! I'm finally here!

"Welcome to Texas". Mom and I finally saw this sign-me from the driver's seat of my humongous rental truck, and she from the driver's seat of my tiny car-after a day and a half of rough, boring driving from STL. We started out of her driveway at 9:30 on Monday and finally arrived at my apartment parking lot at 4:15 Tuesday afternoon. We were locked out, of course, so the first stop was to the apartment office a couple of miles away to sign my lease, sign a huge check for the deposit and a couple of months rent, and get the keys to my new house.
The trip was so long and so exhausting. We intended to stop in Ardmore, OK, but just before Oklahoma City, after about 10 hours on the road, Mom couldn't do it anymore. I was running on adrenaline and nerves and hadn't slept right for a couple of nights, and knew that my judgement was horribly clouded, so I didn't fight for her to go any further. We stayed in a roadside Super 8 and had dinner at a Cracker Barrel across the highway overpass. We went back to the room quickly, worried that the cats might be fighting, or worse, and crashed almost immediately. I was rattled and jangly, and slept fitfully, for a total of about 2 hours. The funniest thing was that the cats were scared and hiding under the edges of the covers, as low as they could physically be, until the lights went out. As soon as it was dark they became little explorers.
In the morning they were upset to discover that they had to go back in the boxes and back into the car for another full day of driving. We stopped in Ft. Worth at noon and had lunch with Esther. She was so patient as I struggled to make conversation, even though my brain was in Austin, and in St. Louis, and everywhere in between. The cats were probably grateful for the movement to stop for a little while (we think Blu may have had a little motion sickness-he wanted to be on the floor as much as possible). There was no way to explain when it was over, though, when we stepped in to my new place and started bringing things in from the truck, and my car, and Ikea (!!) so they didn't really believe that we were here to stay until Thursday or so. Now, they don't like the neighbors footsteps as they walk past the door, but they seem to have forgotten their long-distance traumatic experience. Pray for me the next time the boxes come out, though. Seriously.

Vacancy

After.

Reality

Here is all my stuff in one place. The rental truck company let me down and couldn't get the smaller 10 foot truck I requested (of course at the time it seemed like the end of the world and an omen of things to come). There's so much room in this 16 foot one that everything has had to stay in one layer, so things aren't tipping and sliding. It feels like I'm still taking a lot, even though I sorted brutally and without much sentiment. Isn't that always the way it goes, though?

Kitty Update!

A few weeks ago my little ones had to go under for some routine maintenance. Both got their teeth cleaned (poor Blu lost a toof), and Bella had to have her anal glands removed. I was nervous to take them in for surgery, no matter how minor and routine it was described to be, and it was heartbreaking to take their food and water away the night before and have no way to make them understand why. None of us got a very good night's sleep the night before-what with the nerves and them notifying me that I forgot to put their food out. That was nothing compared to after I picked them up. I waited on the edge of my desk chair until I was allowed to call and check on them, and I couldn't get out the door fast enough when quitting time came around. They had warned me on my final call that they were still very groggy and might need some extra time and attention. When I arrived, though, they let me know that they didn't want to let me take Blu home with me. He was so sleepy they were worried about his hydration and body temp. I knew I would be a basket case, however, and insisted that he came home with me rather than spending the night in a cage.
When we got home we put Blu next to the heater, on a heating pad as instructed. For a while he was fine to lay there like a sack of potatoes, but after a while he decided he needed to walk. He didn't know where he wanted to go, and often just did tight laps around the heater, but he was insistent. Bella, on the other hand, was grumpy but slumped against my shoulder as if she had melted there. Bryan was sweet enough to come down to help with them, and without his and mom's help I would've gotten even less than the two hours of broken sleep I got that night. The only lasting effects are their beautiful haircuts. We decided that Blu looks like one of those young hipster girls with skinny legs sticking out of their thick, furry Ugg boots and a miniskirt (whatever THAT's about), and Bella and her Brazilian are just bizarre. I think they've forgiven me. Until their cages come out for our move, that is.

T Minus 4 Days and Counting...

This is my life at the moment. The sparse cleanliness should seem comforting, but it feels a lot like chaos to me. We'll spin it and call it potential. It's not a blind jump off of a cliff-no! It's a fresh start! This is my brave trooper face.

Farewell Tour

I had one of the best weekends of my life this past weekend. It started with my last day at K & M. The end of the first job I've thought twice about leaving. I rode in with friends, and headed out a little early to go to Friday's for a happy hour in my honor. A friend, Shannon, who has tried valiantly to make me change my mind, sent an office-wide email invite. A few mentioned that they'd try to make it (read: I'm still looking for a solid excuse not to go, in my book), and a few said they'd be there. I don't pressure or guilt people to go to events. I figure I don't want them there if they would rather be somewhere else. The turnout, however, was amazing. The waitstaff reserved tables, plastered with signs complete with my name (I saved one, of course), and the general manager had to come over mid-way through to apologize that they had physically run out of tables to put together for my guests. People I had only spoken to in passing came to see me off, and tell me I'd be missed. My replacement came to buy me a drink, which made me feel sort of guilty for my snippiness the last week (sort of). My closest friends and I had decided to go to the City Museum afterwards, but later decided that we'd postpone it to this Friday instead, because so many people wanted to go but hadn't had enough notice. It was just right; There were three or four distinct groups of conversation, and I could float between all of them easily, and guiltlessly. I felt loved and appreciated, but not the center of attention, not embarrassed. After Fridays, Bryan had made it to town, so Brett and his wife Tracy and I got ice cream (their creation at Coldstone, and it was AWESOME), and picked up Bryan. We watched Transformers (I AM MEGATRON), and chatted. They're really good people, I'll do my best to keep them. Brett trained me at K & M and within a few weeks (it took me a bit to prove myself to him, I think) people were asking how long we'd known each other, assuming that he'd gotten me a job there. We have the same outlook on life, in general, I think.
Saturday I spent the morning and part of the afternoon with mom. We picked some new glasses for her (wish I could see them before I go-SO cute), and looked at the APA, Petsmart and the county shelter for a puppy, but they were all wrong for her. Too small, or loud, or jumpy-one even growled; he needs a crash-course in marketing. I got passed off to Bryan after a nice early dinner for some window shopping and then to see Sweeney Todd. The popcorn tasted funny (like lamb, somehow), and it was WAY too loud, and musicals are always a little wierd ( I can say that I rarely feel the need to break into song during normal conversation-is that just me?!) but I like Jonny Depp and Helena Bonham Carter, and it was OK. Gruesome, and dark, but OK. It really felt like a date when neither of us felt like going home, so we headed to a nice dessert restaurant for huge yummy coffees and delicious desserts. It was another one of those days that you learn so much about the person you think you know the best.
Sunday was the quintessential Bryan and Amanda Day Out. We started at the Loop, with lunch and a stroll, and then took the Metro downtown. We walked to the arch, the landing, and the new casino 'Lumiere Place'- chi-chi, no? We made it through downtown, up to Washington and back to Kiel center and the Metro to the Central West End for dinner. Then, back on the Metro to hop off early for the Loop stop and walk to meet Laura for, you guessed it, more walking.
Monday we ran errands and generally just enjoyed each other's company until it was time for him to get back to Iowa to gear up for his next adventure, while I turned upstairs for mine.

One Ringy-Dingy...

Today was my third to last day at K & M. It's feeling more real now, but not as much as it will when I wake up Monday morning without an alarm and have nowhere to go. How is it that I've planned and saved and set myself up for this and I don't understand that it's actually going to happen, in like a week? I'm realizing the impact on myself that it's going to have, because I can picture the apartment (sort of) and the vibe of the place, and I sort of know my way around. But just in the last day or so I've started to realized the impact on the people around me. My coworkers will be fine, but it will be strange, I'm sure, to not have to listen to me be random and silly when I get that way, or put up with me barely containing my frustrations with whatever I'm dealing with that day. I think they might actually miss me. Not just that I'm conscientious and pick up the slack of others without being asked, but the laughs I hear at my mindless patter, and the way I can cheer people up when they're having a bad day.
Last night I contacted a couple of people here that I don't want to leave behind. I decided, fittingly for the date, that my goal-or resolution, if you will-for this year is to keep in touch with the people in my life that I really care about that are far away. Since that will literally be everyone I've ever known soon (eeek), I know I'll have the motiviation. I just need to work on the focus and consistency. I might have to start by setting alarms on my palm pilot (and computer, and phone...) but I hope it just comes naturally after a while. For some reason I have always been extremely self-conscious about interrupting other people's lives. It was the biggest revelation to me in high school when a couple of my friends stopped by on Christmas day to wish me a happy holiday. I had learned somewhere along the way that holidays were for seeing family only, and if you didn't have plans with someone it was horrible manners to contact them, no matter how strong your friendship. What's the meaning of holidays if not to share love and joy? I don't have any friends that I would avoid a phone call from, or be annoyed that they stopped by to say hello, I don't understand why I think that they would think I'm rude for doing the same. I feel self-conscious and silly for calling when I have nothing to say, even though a planned conversation is never a good thing. So this year I'm going to warn you all-I will be calling. Maybe not late at night, but I'll do my best to not put it off until we've lost touch. I want to hear the everyday mundane things, because you never really know what's going on in someone's life until you can picture it. Speaking of picturing it, I'm also going to do my best to take photos of my place and my new hometown. As you all know, I'm horrible at explaining things, and I've always been awful at taking the time to take pictures, so I'll work on those weaknesses as well. Be patient. I don't have any kids yet, and so far only three pictures of the cats posted here, so I still have some credit at the Bore-you-with-pictures-of-things-you-could-care-less-about Bank.

Holy Crap

It's two weeks away. Two weeks from today I'll be in my new apartment for the first time since my five-minute tour. Months ago I wrote that if I put it on paper, made a plan and told people about it, that I'd have to do it. Well, the time has come. I have to put up or shut up. I have the moving truck, I have the sedatives for the cats, and I've started the trash haul from the house. It's happening. Next stop Austin. I'm excited. The little things about what the place will look like, what will be different since it's my own place. I'm also scared out of my wits. There is so much to remember, I have lists of what lists to make to not forget to take or do anything. I don't have enough time each day to do what I need to do, and certainly not enough energy.
I have three days left at K & M. I'll miss a lot of it- the certainty and routine, the level of knowledge I've reached; that I'm the expert of my team. The paycheck. Not huge, but absolutely dependable. If I can get at least as good there, I'll be golden. There's a lot I won't miss. I won't name names here, but my neighbor to the North (yes, you, Crazy) won't take up any brain power once I walk out the door. I'm just starting to get tired of doing the same thing everyday, but I think that's more an indication of restlessness and the fact that I've been waiting so long.
I'll have a week to play with Mom, visit my favorite places and people here in the 'Lou, and finish packing up before the big roadtrip. The roller coaster of emotions has just begun, I know. One moment my heart skips a beat thinking about how real this is, and close. The next moment it leaps because of the things I can call home now. The fresh, lively downtown of my new hometown, just blocks from my doorstep. The Hills to the West; so rich with new, beautiful places to discover. The river, the shops, the neighborhoods. Not to mention the people. Active, like-minded people that really like the place they live.
My whole life has been 'for now'. Each step has been just that-something to keep me busy and moving on to the next. I'm ready to slow down, own my place in the world and live in the moment, not for the next one. Call it settling down, call it an adventure; I'm ready for it. As my latest fortune cookie said so well "Now is the time."