Today was my third to last day at K & M. It's feeling more real now, but not as much as it will when I wake up Monday morning without an alarm and have nowhere to go. How is it that I've planned and saved and set myself up for this and I don't understand that it's actually going to happen, in like a week? I'm realizing the impact on myself that it's going to have, because I can picture the apartment (sort of) and the vibe of the place, and I sort of know my way around. But just in the last day or so I've started to realized the impact on the people around me. My coworkers will be fine, but it will be strange, I'm sure, to not have to listen to me be random and silly when I get that way, or put up with me barely containing my frustrations with whatever I'm dealing with that day. I think they might actually miss me. Not just that I'm conscientious and pick up the slack of others without being asked, but the laughs I hear at my mindless patter, and the way I can cheer people up when they're having a bad day.
Last night I contacted a couple of people here that I don't want to leave behind. I decided, fittingly for the date, that my goal-or resolution, if you will-for this year is to keep in touch with the people in my life that I really care about that are far away. Since that will literally be everyone I've ever known soon (eeek), I know I'll have the motiviation. I just need to work on the focus and consistency. I might have to start by setting alarms on my palm pilot (and computer, and phone...) but I hope it just comes naturally after a while. For some reason I have always been extremely self-conscious about interrupting other people's lives. It was the biggest revelation to me in high school when a couple of my friends stopped by on Christmas day to wish me a happy holiday. I had learned somewhere along the way that holidays were for seeing family only, and if you didn't have plans with someone it was horrible manners to contact them, no matter how strong your friendship. What's the meaning of holidays if not to share love and joy? I don't have any friends that I would avoid a phone call from, or be annoyed that they stopped by to say hello, I don't understand why I think that they would think I'm rude for doing the same. I feel self-conscious and silly for calling when I have nothing to say, even though a planned conversation is never a good thing. So this year I'm going to warn you all-I will be calling. Maybe not late at night, but I'll do my best to not put it off until we've lost touch. I want to hear the everyday mundane things, because you never really know what's going on in someone's life until you can picture it. Speaking of picturing it, I'm also going to do my best to take photos of my place and my new hometown. As you all know, I'm horrible at explaining things, and I've always been awful at taking the time to take pictures, so I'll work on those weaknesses as well. Be patient. I don't have any kids yet, and so far only three pictures of the cats posted here, so I still have some credit at the Bore-you-with-pictures-of-things-you-could-care-less-about Bank.
No comments:
Post a Comment