Lonely Only

Bryan just left. He was able to visit for a month or so, and we had fun and I got to know even more of my city, doing things easier or more enjoyably done as a pair. We ate out (what a luxury!), and went on walks until late into the night, went for bike rides and watched the bats. We got things done and made the most of our time. We were weekend and weeknight warriors, living every moment rather than thinking about it. I'm glad he came and was able to stay so long, although I know I kept him here and less productive selfishly. As he drives away to his new, more productive reality, I look around thinking about the life I had before he got here, before I knew how nice it was to share this place with someone I love. I'll get back there - to the independent, selfish place that is beautifully beholden to no one - but in the meantime I'll be lonely, and a little lost. My routines will be in upheaval, and the void will be evident.
I have plans to keep myself busy, to get in shape and feel strong, and for that I'm grateful for the extra time. There will always be the empty space now though. It used to be a clean, sparse apartment with only the things I need. For now I only see surfaces where his things belong, bare and raw.
The cats don't understand. He is a friend of animals in the purist sense, knowing before they do what they need and heaping love on them from the bottomless well of his heart.
We are a family, as strange as it may seem to those on the outside, and like a loving family we'll keep each other close, even as the miles pile up between us and the climb seems too steep to bear.