My New Arsenal

I've been walking all week since the attempted bike theft incident. Every time I set out I wish it were on my bike-I wish I were the type that could let things like that roll off my back without taking it the least bit personally. It's not like the slimeball that tried to take it was thinking about how I'd feel, and how will he feel when I've distanced myself from it enough to ride it again? Will he chuckle at the situation, shrug and keep going, or will it be a challenge for him to get it back, to think about my face as I walk out and realize it's worked this time? Or, am I giving even that too much thought? Reality is he probably cased it for a while, built up his nerve and has since forgotten the bike itself, if not the crazy story. I won't be using the same racks, and I'll probably lock it up in different spots everyday now, but I think I'll always hold my breath as I turn the corner in anticipation of seeing it.
I rode down to Lance's shop today and had a look at their selection, and picked out a gnarly combo of 'bike cuffs' and a cable that should be extremely difficult if not impossible to cut through, and even if it were freed from the post, would make it unrideable. All I can hope for is for the guy to think it's too much of a pain in the ass, I guess. I've also saved my serial number and checked with the insurance company to make sure it's covered in the meantime.
Of course I keep thinking 'why?'. Was he desperate for transpo, or cash from the pawn shop? Was it a junkie or a family man? Should I feel the pity I do, the guilt for having nice things that other people want to take?
My active hatred for retail employment had dulled until this incident. Watching people steal or return things they had obviously stolen shook me to the core while working retail, and made me angrier than anything I've encountered. The entitlement of the individual, and yet the flaws in the society that made them was stupefying. The fact that they all looked different than myself and I could see them coming, profiling them, made me feel guilty, angry and bitter towards the world, and I never wanted to feel that way again. Austin's not utopia, I knew that, but it just seems like the friendliness you encounter everyday, the sense of community, would prevent some of the mundane ugliness you see in other cities. I don't want to doubt, I don't want to have to think like a criminal to prevent suffering in my life. Reality sucks.